Bah Humbug

I did not realize I ever had comments on my blog until a couple of minutes ago. Now I feel inept and a little bit like a jerk. I apologize to those who made comments and it seemed as though I was ignoring you. Sadness doesn't get one anywhere, yet the feeling follows with disappointment from not getting from the "look what I can do" academy to "you wish you could do what I can do" lifestyle upgrade. My abundance of confidence does seem to have a limit and once reached, it starts deflating like a balloon. There are only so many jobs to be turned down from, so many hardwood floors/stainless steel appliances you can't afford, gas receipts to look at, before you start to wonder why the heck you are even trying anymore. Then you go to bed and do it all over again. Why? Because you have to. You sit at a bar and the next person you meet you want to say, "Hi, I'm Sally," in a British accent and you want to talk about how you work in a steel mill and you live with your dog Frank and you are deathly afraid of worms, but you don't. Why? Because it would be weird and you just can't do it. You see people going in and out of their homes, saying goodbye to their families, going to their regular daily jobs, and you wonder what you did to get dealt the hand you have. Seriously, what the heck did I do to deserve this?