Day 4

I couldn't stand it any longer, the feeling in the pit of my stomach that told me I had to see you, and here I have it again. I open my phone a thousand times a day to see if you've sent anything, I have the urge to call you on my drive home after work.
I drove to your house and freaked out your parents last night, I needed to see you, and once I saw you, I needed to hear you, and once I heard you, I needed to feel you.
I don't remember what I said in the note I left on your car, I hope I said what I meant.
You're worried I don't love all of you and I'm worried I can't be all of me. I don't want us to quit, we can do this right?
I love you and I want you to feel loved and I don't want you to feel as if you have to change completely for me, that isn't fair or right...but will you tell me if the parts of you that I see flawed, are really you or learned phases? I don't want to lose you.
I went to your website today, looked at your Flickr, you have amazing photos. Did you take them? And if so, why didn't you ever share them?
I read part of your blog, Feb. 3rds entry made me cry, mostly because you don't let me in on how hard things are for you. You don't let me in. There is this internet world that knows all of your sides, should we strike up an internet romance? Will you share with me then? I hate that I even ask that question.
I want to drive to you again...you are probably sleeping or laying in bed hearing the loud sounds from downstairs and not wanting to join. I wish you would text me back, I wish you would say you love me. I know you do, but the silence worries me, what is happening inside your head?
I'm eating old fruit, I wish we were having dinner.
No note. Cards are still in the top drawer of the dresser. I can't be here right now, everywhere I look I want you to be. I'm going to the liquor store.