A Place to Call Home

I want a home and a family of my own so badly. I have been living out of boxes almost a year, having to rummage through them to get my things, open a suitcase to get my clothes, I want to scream. I feel so empty without children. I have to reassure myself everyday that the wait is worth it, but I'm lonely and I'm tired and I don't see where my life is going. I once thought I saw it clearly, knew exactly how it all would end, but it seems I was fooled. I tell myself daily, "I have to get a job, I have to get a job," I occupy myself with the thought so others cannot seep in, but try as I might sometimes they do. I remember when I was twelve my mother warned me not to go into the world too fast, that it wasn't as exciting as it seemed, she was right. I want to make a place of residence, take care of it with the one I love, raise children to be the best of us and better. I feel old, I feel restless, I don't know how to wait any longer.