My Tears Misread

Is it so hard to satisfy your senses
You found out to love me
You have to climb some fences
Scratching and crawling along the floor to touch you

And just when it feels right
You say you found someone to hold you
Does she like I do?

Baby, tell me does she love you
Like the way I love you?
Does she stimulate you
Attract and captivate you?

Tell me does she miss you
Existing just to kiss you
Like the way I do?

Tell me does she want you
Infatuate and haunt you?
Does she know just how to shock you
Electrify and rock you?

Does she inject you
Seduce you and affect you?
Like the way I do, like the way I do

Can I survive all
The implications even if I tried?
Could you be less than an addiction?

Don't you think I know there's so many others
Who would beg, steal and lie, fight, kill and die
Just to hold you, hold you like I do

Baby, tell me does she love you
Like the way I love you?
Does she stimulate you
Attract and captivate you?

Tell me does she miss you
Existing just to kiss you
Like the way I do?

Tell me does she want you
Infatuate and haunt you?
Does she know just how to shock you
Electrify and rock you?

Does she inject you
Seduce you and affect you
Like the way I do?

Nobody loves you
Like the way I do
Nobody wants you
Like the way I do

Nobody needs you
Like the way I do
Nobody aches, nobody aches
Just to hold you
Like the way I do
~

We met for a coffee approximately a week ago, had dinner, then drove around thinking of children's names. It was nice. "Normal," can it be called that? I'm not sure other unwed couples drive around thinking of their unborn children, but it made me happy to think of a joyful future. Maybe we could teach our kids not to screw things up so badly or to have coping skills we don't. Then another week passed without seeing you.
Last night you came by, we were ok and then your phone buzzed and when you looked at it you turned it so as to hide the screen from me, much like you often do, but the secrets are exhausting me. You ran into an old friend and you went to see a "flame" to try and put some things to rest for yourself. I was tired last night, in-between wanting to cry and fall asleep. You mistook my "tears" for the fact you went. I'm upset not because you went, I understand needing to close relationships, but rather the timing and that you couldn't discuss it with me. I'm starting to seriously question who I am with you. You will finally tell me something and say that you weren't sure how I would take it, if I would break up with you or hit you and I'm starting to wonder...am I really that irrational? Is it that you think that whatever you do isn't a big deal and am I overreacting? There are some things I know I am not going over-the-top about and my opinion will not change, but others...I'm getting confused. But the problem lies within lies, every little thing I have to gear myself up to be something more. The girl who waved? Might not be just the girl who waved. Your phone that buzzes at midnight might not be just another alert. That phone number in your recent call list? She might not be a girl you were just talking to, you might have slept with her. Unfortunately, I've been trained very well to take normal everyday interactions and blow them up into something more. As for my request, is it really that hard to back off from female relationships for awhile so we can pull ourselves back together? You asked what you could do and now you won't do it, it seems the forever you want doesn't mean a lifetime because you are only building temporary trust and breaking it.
We aren't ever going to be ok if you don't learn to include me: Rachel sent a funny email about zombies, want to see it? Lily made a move on Words with Friends, want to help me with my word? Sharon and I have a business lunch, brad can't go, do you want to join us?
If you keep living a separate life where I don't know what you are doing inside your phone or in the world without me and people know I exist, but they never see me, you leave us open to several situations like before. You wondered how my parents have survived, because my dads friends and coworkers know who my mom is and vice versa, they are real people to them and therefor people don't want to get in-between their relationship.
I have an amazing amount of energy for three hours of sleep, the crash is not going to be good...