Hello Stranger, Good Morning Sun

Everything is messed up. I wasn't supposed to be here this long. The words of, "It will work out someday" and "One day at a time," "Everything will fall into place when you are ready" or "least expecting it" are driving me crazy. I'm thankful for what I have, but I'm frustrated. I keep applying for things and hearing nothing back. I change my resume over and over again upon recommendations and...nothing. I approach cover letters differently, more business like, a little humor...nothing. I'm glad I at least have a temp position, if not for that I would be completely hopeless. I have enough for first months rent.
I went looking for a new bar the other night, I was hoping for something like the wine bar in Tulsa, but the place that I found closed at ten. They sent me to a dive, which I was not interested in so I relied on my Garmin which sent me to a ghost town with yet another dive with only one person in the bar. I went back to the first dive. It was in Mount Vernon, different from my usual spot in Stanwood.
Met a very drunk man who talked in circles. He told me how he was a divorced veteran, 65, lived across the street where he had tequila and beer, he thought I was very attractive and he had been waiting for someone like me his whole life, would I like to come over? What was my name again? Emptied his wallet to show me the contents: bus pass, credit card, veterans card, license, etc. and then the whole process started over again. I did turn away from him and ignored him a few times, but wouldn't you know it, he actually remembered my name when I wasn't looking at him? Then he decided to tell me about the bible, he told me not to get tattoos, to get out of bars and start living, because I can do something with myself and G-d has a plan for me. Then he said he had to say all of that, because he prays in the morning before he could ask if I wanted to come over, because he is a wild man.
There was another guy who kept staring at me from a distance, I would catch him peeking around a corner to look at me, but he wouldn't come over.
A guy came over for a glass of water, stalled a moment beside me and decided to introduce himself. He left his friends playing pool, who left when he didnt come back after awhile, and we talked until close. The guy who was staring at me all night decided to finally introduce himself at 2 a.m. He came up on the other side of me and said hello. So we went outside. Where staring man said goodnight and left and bar talker and his friend who joined us a little while earlier stood. A few seconds later, staring man was back, he said he had to use the restroom, he was able to get back into the bar, came back out and asked us if there were any after parties. Then stated that he knew of one. He would have to check with his buddies, but he thinks it would be ok. They were going to run to get beer. Then he said he only had room in his car for one. I said that I drove and the other two guys walked so I would have to drive them. He asked for my phone number in case we got lost and told me he would check to see if it was alright if we all came over. So off he went and we headed for my car as it was cold. Bar talkers friend said we should head in the direction of the house, which I felt a little bad doing since we hadn't received the ok. Yet we drove, then I got an incoming text, "Honestly I was just hoping you would come over..." So, I tell my driving companions it is not really a group party, bar talker asks if I would like to drop them off and I can go hang out with the other guy, I say no. We drive around trying to decide what to do. Unfortunately, we can't think of anything. It gets early, I drop them off.
Staring man texts me, asks if I'm staying in town or driving back tonight. Tells me I should come over and "have some fun" with him. That it is much better to drive in the morning than night. I go home.
I discover a Galaxy Tablet was left in my car, woot free loot! No, not really, must return.
Go to my usual dive on Wednesday for karaoke, bring the 'lil sis as minors are allowed for a set period of time. Run into J with the three kids, who has them in tow. He introduces me to them all. His oldest son is outgoing, his daughter who has my name, takes a liking to my sister. J kept trying to get his son to dance with his daughter, because she wanted to, I convince my sister to get up and dance with her and after that they are two peas in a pod. Later, J and I dance and his daughter joins in, we look ridiculous.
My usual bar companion makes eye contact, leaves, returns with kids, waves and sits in the dark. Something isn't right. I go over and say hello. Apparently his ex dropped the kids off with someone to get her hair done in the afternoon and still wasn't back after nine, he was in the hospital for two days, and he got yelled at at work. Bad week.
I have these outings and have a good time, but I get home and wish I were with one person. Wish we were going out. Wish we were talking, because that was the best part of my day. What's wrong with me?