Me, Others

I remember why I keep it all in as I speak to her. I restate facts, no judgement on my part and she comes to a conclusion as to why a person is the way they are, why they deserve the treatment they are receiving from others. My first response is defense, but I don't say anything, I don't want to argue. Maybe she is right, maybe there are "types," formulas for people and I am just niaeve thinking that circumstances mold people, things change. She said something that made my heart stop. A comment about another deserving what they got, not realizing that that comment could then also apply to me and was incredibly harsh. I thought perhaps the barrier was gone, I am always told I don't talk enough, but now I see my wall must still be built. I am told my thoughts will be respected, but I know otherwise. When you know you are spoken of behind your back as it is, why give more ammo? It makes me sad that I can't ever say what's on my mind when asked and I fear I have given her too much information already that she is wanting to push me in certain directions due to what she knows. I'm really struggling with biting my tongue with several people as of late. It is hard to watch a know-it-all raise a child, someone who is close to you, wants help, but doesn't. Today we went to the store, baby wearing shorts, t-shirt, no socks. Got outside, it was cold. Was he dressed for the weather? No. Ok, but people carry diaper bags with little jackets and extra clothes right? Not her. So he was chattering and shivering for the first half we were in the store. If he gets overstimulated she keeps trying to get him to play with his toys or keeps talking loudly at him instead of picking him up and quieting down, which is what he needs because he is burning out. Most of the time her answer to his cries are to feed him or put him to bed, when he just wants to be held. I'm not saying I'm perfect. I just think there is a way to be more prepared for all situations and a way to better read a babies needs. She keeps trying to fit the baby into her life instead of realizing that she is fitting into the babies life now, her life is changed.